Oscar Wilde once described fox hunting as, “The unspeakable
in pursuit of the inedible.” The Bling Ring is a small but fascinating movie that
depicts the amoral in pursuit of the superficial. Based on a real-life case and an article by Nancy
Jo Sales (The
Suspects Wore Louboutins) in Vanity
Fair magazine, it follows a group of Los Angeles teenagers who realize that
(1) celebrities post their whereabouts on the Internet and (2) it’s pretty easy
to get into their houses when they are away.
Silly, bored, clueless and unscrupulous (a toxic
combination), these four girls and a boy start at the entry level. During a party, two of them break
into cars parked along the street with doors unlocked and valuables
left inside. It’s just a lark to them
and they lift anything they find, treating money and credit cards like candy on
Halloween. They move up to burgling the
home of the boy’s friend and, after that, graduate to the Big Time: celebrity
homes. That’s when the other three join
in the fun.
These kids know their consumer goods, recognizing the
valuable stuff on sight. What they
lift: Christian Louboutin shoes ($700 to
$6000 a pair), Rolex watches ($5,000 to $35,000), Birkin handbags ($200 to
$10,000), any accessories by Chanel, D&G, or other high-end designers, jewelry, sunglasses,
money, drugs. And, in one particularly
scary scene, a loaded handgun.
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| In the Closet: Trying on the Goods |
It amazed me that people in L.A. leave their car doors unlocked and their homes unsecured,
despite the truly astonishing quantity of valuables they contain. Who does this? I lock my car when only my gym bag is
inside. Paris Hilton left her house key
under the mat and her house is a shrine to jaw-dropping mindless consumerism.
She allowed Director Sofia Coppola to shoot inside her house so we get to see the
valuables first hand: her shoe closet alone would have made Imelda Marcos
drool.
Just as L.A. celebrities appear to lack common sense, the
teens are devoid of morals or ethics in any form. They are seemingly untutored in concepts of
right and wrong, from the Ten Commandments and to the penal code of the State
of California. Their position is that
their rich victims have more than they need and, therefore, can afford to
lose whatever the gang chooses to take. After
a while, of course, they steal more than they “need” and start selling the
excess goods on the street and even fencing watches like junior cat burglars.
These teens also lack parental influence or even adult presence
in their lives, self-awareness, any interest in education or books, attention
to school or homework, spiritual knowledge, life goals beyond immediate
amusement, or empathy for their victims. Mom is homeschooling two of the girls, using a curriculum based on The Secret, a pop-spiritualist self-help book . Most astonishing is their unawareness of the seriousness of
their actions.
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| Fun & Games at Lindsay Lohan's |
In a country where almost anyone who watches TV can recite
the Miranda warning, it’s hard to believe that the Gang of Five is oblivious to
the fact that they are committing real crimes: breaking and entering, grand
larceny (goods worth over $3 million), and grand theft auto. It’s all just a fun and games. With one exception, they are shocked (shocked!)
when the police show up at their door.
Even then, they seem to think that, because they were having fun the
police are being, like, totally outrageous by arresting them. In pressing charges, their celebrity victims
show they have no sense of humor.
The movie uses flash-forwards to show them gulling the
adults who interact with them by spewing the words and phrases they know the
adults want to hear. Best of all, the posse pastes pictures of their crimes on
Facebook. Because, like, why would the
police look there?
In a way, it’s difficult to watch The Bling Ring because it
doesn’t offer the viewer a single likable character. The kids are vacuous and feral, their parents
are either nitwits or absent, the celebrities are invisible and the security
firms take a long time to catch on. About
halfway through, I started hoping the cops would be waiting at the bottom of
the driveway as we watch the kids' escape from Orlando Bloom’s house through the
lens of a security camera. I wanted them
to be caught as much to wake them up as to punish them.
Unfortunately that doesn’t happen. After one of the girls, Nicki (Emma Watson),
is released from jail and Ms. Sales arrives from Vanity Fair to interview her, Nicki is treated as a celebrity even by
her mother. Unfazed by the fact that her
daughter is a convicted felon--and that this is a bad thing--mom just wants in on the interview, interrupting
continuously while Nicki slaps her down to keep the spotlight on herself.
The Bling Ring is a fascinating study of the L.A, teen
culture and it was a pleasant break from movies packed with superheroes, super-violence,
gun worship, exploding helicopters, and mass destruction. Before you go, though, remember to lock your
door.
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