After one of my posts on bosses who exhibit the symptoms of one
disorder spectrum or another,
Dr.
Brian Monger of @SmartaMarketing asked me if I could recommend any ways of dealing with someone
like that.
It’s a tough question.
Assuming that none of us in corporate America
have the kind of education and clinical background to make an accurate
diagnosis (and why would we be working in a corporation if we did?) employees
are left to cope with a set of inexplicable behaviors, attitudes and
communications.
And no platform on which
to stand while we do it.
|
Mr. Burns |
The fact that so much is written about it indicates the scope of the problem in American business. My problem with some of this advice, though,
is that the authors glom different behaviors into one label whereas
behaviors differ depending on what his problem really is. Having said that, here are some purely personal ideas and suggestions
that might help, regardless of his dysfunction:
Don’t try to change him. This is the first and biggest hurdle to
clear. The behavior of your boss, your
VP, your co-worker, or the CEO was set a long time ago. Whether it’s genetic and inherited from
parents, driven by his/her cultural upbringing and education, a set of coping
mechanisms developed in childhood, or the result of fluctuations in brain
chemicals, the behavior has been with him/her a long time. Nothing you—or possibly even a psychiatric
professional—can say or do will change that.
Attempting to do so will just make you frustrated. It might also cause him/her to target you as
a threatening person and a troublemaker.
|
Michael Scott |
Observe his behavior carefully. As Yogi Berra famously said, “You can observe
a lot just by watching.” You want to
familiarize yourself with the person’s behavior because it’s important to know
what you have to work with—or work around—as you go about your job. If you can predict that his “Behavior A” will
cause your “Reaction B,” then you can prepare for or avoid that behavior. Conversely, if you know that saying or doing
something will cause a negative or unpredictable reaction in him, you can train
yourself to avoid that behavior.
Make sure that your annoyance doesn’t come from a clash between his
working style and yours. I once became
annoyed with a boss who was never in the office because I wanted to talk
with him personally and go over my plans and accomplishments with him face to
face. He, on the other hand, thought it
was more important to be in the field, helping the sales force and was
irritated that I wasn’t communicating with him through email and phone
messages. Once this discrepancy was
pointed out to me—along with the fact that the boss gets to set the working
style—I adjusted my own behavior and we both became much happier.
Provide Strength Where He Is
Weak. Someone who is bipolar, ADD,
Asperger’s or in possession of another behavioral dysfunction will most likely
have a visible weakness. Remember that
your first job is not to perform the function for which the company hired you,
the one that involves all the expertise and achievements on your resume. Your first job is to make your boss look good
and to make his life easier. Accomplishing
that will help you to succeed with most normal people and quite a few
dysfunctional ones as well. They
typically know where they are weak and are grateful if someone on their staff
is willing to back them up.
At another company, I asked my boss for the monthly Actuals Report so I could manage
my department’s budget and know exactly how much I had left to spend. He thought for a moment, then turned and
pulled the report out of the trash. I
asked him to please send it directly to me the next time he received it and I
would take care of it. After that, I
managed his budget for the whole department and he was happy to have me do
it. That way he could take credit for
being on top of things without actually spending time on something he
hated. Managing the budget directly made
my job easier as well and gave me some valuable experience.
|
Louis Litt |
Stay Organized: A dysfunctional boss is often
disorganized as well. Keeping all your
ducks in a row will accomplish two things.
It will make you the dependable one he can turn to when he’s confused or
under pressure to provide the board with information he doesn’t have at his
fingertips. It also gives you any
background information you may need to cover your butt or look good if he
wanders into the weeds or goes off the deep end.
Maintain Your Identity: Do everything you can to put mental space
between you and his bizarre or infuriating behavior. Remind yourself often that
you are not the problem and you are not responsible for his actions. Create distance between you—physical if possible
and mental if not. Move your office far
from his if you can. Wear headphones
while you work. Meditate every day
and/or go out for a noontime walk. Retreat
to a conference room to work and leave a sign on your desk so he can find you
when needed. Exercise as often as you
can in order to blow off stress and pump up your endorphins.
Be Invisible: When all else fails, hide. I once interviewed a candidate who had spent
over four years in an event company known for its volatile, abusive, and
insulting founder with consequent high employee churn. With a smile, I asked him how he had
accomplished this amazing feat. “I’m
tall,” he replied. I didn’t see how that
was relevant so he explained. “I could
see over the cubicle walls and he couldn’t.
So when I saw him coming, I just went somewhere else for a while.” That’s good street smarts.
|
Walter White |
Having said all of this, I know only too well that any or all of these
suggestions may work just sometimes—or until they don’t. Unpredictability is a hallmark of the
dysfunctional boss. It goes along with his
lack of interest in your job satisfaction, general happiness or ability to pay
the mortgage. The only thing that
matters to him is his job, his career, and his mortgage. If you can help him with those things, you’ll
be in better shape than if you fight him, go around him, or show your contempt
for his work performance.
Above all, do
not go over his head and complain unless you have a sizeable group of people
who are willing to go with you to Human Resources. And I mean actually walking into the HR
department with you. It’s not enough for
people to say they’ll back you up if you complain: that makes you the focus of the problem.
Keep in mind that HR probably knows he’s a problem, knows all about the
churn, has heard stories of the weird or abusive behavior, and agrees with your
assessment. But that doesn’t mean
they’ll do anything about it. In my entire
career, I can only remember one instance where HR stood up on their hind legs
and fought for the members of a department against a VP. Even more astonishing, they won. But don’t count on this happening. It’s far more likely that you’ll be targeted
as a troublemaker and you really don’t want that to happen. After all, it’s far easier to get rid of you,
an employee at will, than it is to fire an executive with a contract.
Bottom line: If all else fails
and you can’t stand the thought of going to work every morning, . . . If your
stomach hurts when you see an email from him . . . If you wake up at 2 am
worried about what he’s going to do to you next . . . If you start snapping at
your spouse or kids and want to kick the dog . . .or worse . . .
It’s time to leave.
If you have developed a successful technique for dealing with a
dysfunctional boss, I would really love to hear it.
You can comment on the post or send me an email
at
alinemkaplan@gmail.com.
Good luck.
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